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Updates, ramblings - Life in the Fast Lane
Everything, all the time
swngnblues
swngnblues
Updates, ramblings
Many updates and some ramblings that I've been committing to MS Word lately...

I took a quick trip up to see Granny this weekend. She’s spent the better part of the year with my Aunt and Uncle in Florida and Cleveland, and was home for just a few weeks. She’ll be going back to Florida at the end of the month, as most snowbirds do. 

At 88, she’s seen quite a bit. Grandad’s been dead since 1992, and she’s pretty much been on her own since then. Living in Delbarton is pretty lonely, as it’s a small town about 15 miles from Williamson, the “hub” of activity for the area. It’s another 30 miles to Pikeville, where apparently are better medical services. 

She’s finally decided after this most recent bout with Pneumonia, and a friend of hers breaking her hip in her own house, that it’s time that she sells the house. I don’t think any of us can really argue with her that it’s a bad idea. Mainly because we’ve been telling her that she should consider moving or serious renovations on that house for the last 10 years. It’s a neat house. Built onto the side of a mountain, and the foundation in the back easily has to be 25 feet up. Then you hit the basement, where the washer and dryer are. The problem is that the stairs downstairs are either on the outside of the house, or not exactly up to current building code on the inside (I have to duck down about halfway). Couple that with Granny’s emphysema and you’ve got a recipe for a woman that’s having trouble keeping house anymore. 

I managed to take her to services on Sunday. That was an experience. Realize that I’ve been born and raised Catholic, and have heard “horror stories” about Baptist services. All in all, it wasn’t that bad. Bit lengthy, as I’ve gotten used to the 55 minute Masses. Afterwards was a church luncheon for the pastor’s birthday. Granny really came alive being around people. I think that she gets lonely in that house. Sure, she’s got Pam checking in on her (from across the street) and others occasionally stopping by, but really, she’s been devoid of a significant amount of human contact. 

It was good seeing her again... and she tried to give me like half the house when I left... 

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My friend Jeremey got a call from his old boss at a coal company outside of Abingdon last night. He’s been here since Summer 2005, and they’ve never gone more than 6 months without dropping him some sort of line about coming back to work for them. 
They moved here because Liz was having difficulty staying employed, as she seemed to only find temporary jobs for fairly bad bosses. The other reason was that they were just tired of the “country living” – where the nearest store was 15 minutes away. If they wanted to do serious shopping, they needed to go 30-45 minutes away. They were roughly 4 hours away from their parents. Jeremey even took a slight pay cut to move here. 
The offer – nearly double his current salary, and assistance to help Liz find a job. 
Now he’s struggling with the question of whether or not the money is worth it. Nevermind the fact that his current employer has postponed raises 3 times in the last 18 months. Nevermind that his current company’s politics have him miffed. 
Is the money worth it? 
He and I both say no. While pigeonhole yourself into a relatively tracked career, with few other opportunities outside the company? Just for the money? 
We’re all overworked and under-paid, but seriously…. Which sort of segues into another topic…
I had my review 2 weeks ago. Nothing really out of the ordinary. He couldn’t do what he does without me, I allow him to take off major time, etc. etc. But really, it just makes me wonder if I’m so valuable to him, why am I ready to quit?
I’ve never made it a secret that I’m not happy with being here. He constantly frustrates the hell out of me, and I feel like he leans on me way too much sometimes. But it just got me thinking… what am I really disappointed in?
It’s a question I can’t answer right now, and it bugs the hell out of me. Am I disappointed in the job itself? Am I disappointed because there are others out there with seemingly less education that make more than me? Or is it that I’m generally unhappy with where my life is in comparison to where I thought I’d be right now?
Which raises a whole slew of other questions – for instance… what am I basing my achievements on? At this point, I’m tempted to say that I’m comparing myself to my parents. I was raised in white, suburban, middle-class America. I went to a Catholic school for 12 years. Where I’m at right now, I couldn’t live in the neighborhood I was raised in. Is that what bothers me? 
Or is it that seemingly everyone my age (and including my last girlfriend) is married, while I’m off in “never never land”? Don’t get me wrong, I’m happy that my friends have happiness in their marriages, but I’m jealous too. 
Maybe that’s what’s contributing to the jealousy – is that I’m catering all these weddings, where I see that happiness manifested in the ceremony and reception? 
Or is it the fact that I have no free time anymore – either spending it at the full time job, 9 hours in classes, and however many hours at the catering gig? That given my schedule – It’d be damn near impossible for me to have any sort of romantic relationship without having problems? 
I wish I could answer these questions anymore. Blissful ignorance seems to be the best answer for the time being. But it leaves me wondering….
Would a major change, such as a higher paying job (we’re talking 1.5x and more current salary) help me at all? Would I then be able to quit taking classes, and working at the caterer? Would I be able to actually have a relationship, given that time would seem to be on my side again? Or would I continue to be miserable? 
Some of my friends seem to think that it comes down to my boss, and that he places an undue reliance upon me, as well as higher expectations that he doesn’t hold himself to. Would that be any better in another job? Would going from working for a man, to working for “the man” (a corporation) be any different?
Or is it really just the fact that in today’s world, you’ve got to have a dual income household just to survive and stay “middle class”? 
Whatever it is – I wish I had the answers. Or the opportunity to figure out if that one change came along (whichever it is) that everything else would fall into line. 
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And just when am I going to get some freakin ‘rain around here?!?!? Over 2 months without measurable rainfall… You know it’s bad when I’m praying for a hurricane….

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Just finished up a round of group projects in classes.  Now onto the 2nd exams.  Let's hope I do better on these than the first.  But classes are going well (as can be expected), and I'm really enjoying some of what I"m learning.  Practical application does have its uses.  

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It's almost baking time again!  The caterer has a weekend gig for me at Sunset Beach next weekend, and so I'll be breaking out the "fall fare" of pumpkin bread and pumpkin cookies.  And I get to do them in my big kitchen!

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House next to me is almost done.  It's been an education watching them build it.  It's the same floorplan, with a few modifications to the overall layout.  Has higher ceilings, lots of recessed lighting, and different cabinets.  Not sure if the family that stopped by last night are the new owners, or just managed to be driving by and knew a neighbor.  The yards are so small that you can park in front of one house to be seeing the one next door....

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My house is a wreck right now.  I went back after all that painting, and have been trying to take care fo the spots where the drywall nails have popped out.  So, I have all these spackle spots on the ceiling and walls that need to be sanded, primed, and painted.  Ugh... there's no end to it.  And with the family coming down for Thanksgiving... I still need to paint the other two bedrooms.  When am I going to get all this done?!?!  At least I can't do any landscaping right now.... 

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That's it for now.  Sorry for the randomness... but it's been like that for awhile now.  I'll try to be more active around here from now on....

~rj

Coordinates: Work
Feelin': contemplative contemplative

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